Friday, June 02, 2006

Your Driving Style

Aks, your alter ego is an Ambitious driver

It doesn't matter if you're running a classroom, a marathon, or for political office. To you, life is a race and you pride yourself on staying ahead of the pack or at least being involved in many of them. Yep, you're an ambitious one, all right. Throughout life, you were probably the first to raise your hand in class, the first to ask for a raise, or the first to jump into that lake for a moonlight, summer swim. And when you're driving, you're probably equally ambitious, finding new ways to get out of a traffic jam, always searching for a quicker route home from work, or crafting your way through a maze of freeways with impeccable precision and style. For you, the open road is filled with new victories to be won — causes to become a part of. Of course, being such a fearless leader involved in so many organizations can spread your time a little thin. But do you worry? No! You're too busy forging new alliances, finding new mountains to climb, and new paths to conquer.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

100 Relationship Quotes

1 Girls, just to let you know...if you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

2 When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason - there's a reason - Molly McGee

3 Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!!!)

4 Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.

5 Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

6 Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the women gets her Master.

7 Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.

8 Marriage is not just having a wife but also worries inherited forever.

9 Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS"
-The Engagement Ring
-The Wedding Ring
-The Suffe-Ring
-The Endu-Ring

10 Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

11 It's true; all men are born free and equal - but some of them get married

12 A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

13 There was a man who said "I never knew what happiness was until I got married and then it was too late!"

14 There was this lover who told his love that he would go through hell for her. They got married - and now he is going through HELL!

15 I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette

16 I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956

17 When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

18 Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe-Jackie Mason

19 Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne

20 I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name" - Mike Binder


21 "I'd rather she'd used me for sex. Using me for my mind really bothered me." - Carl Jacobs

22 I'm not the kind-of guy who objects to my wife having the last word. I'd just wish to hell she'd get to it.

23 Any man who thinks marriage is a 50/50 proposition proves that: Either he knows nothing at all about percentages, (or) he's got an awful lot to learn about both women and marriage.

24 It's really a wonder my wife and I ever got together in the first place. She swore she would never marry me when I was drunk, and I wouldn't dream of marrying her when I was sober.

25 I'm not saying my wife talks too much or anything, but she uses a special SPF 30 sunblock for her tongue.

26 At bedtime, when my wife asks "Is everything shut-up for the night ?" I always patiently reply, "Everything 'else' is, dear."


27 My wife hasn't been feeling all that well lately. Something she agreed with is eating her.

28 When I married my wife, she had a real hourglass figure. The sands of time have pretty much taken care of that though.

29 My wife always keeps a bowl of wax fruit around, even though neither of us knows any mannequins.

30 I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook exactly but we have a complete set of soup knives.

31 A friend asked my wife if I was hard to please. She replied, "Don't know. Never tried."

32 Rub her feet - Lazarus Long

33 "I want us to be something that we can't."
"What's that?"
"A normal couple."
- Holden, Alyssa, "Chasing Amy"

34 Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of:
(1) a date,
(2) his wife,
(3) a better looking and richer male friend.

35 "I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night." - Marie Corelli

36 "I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career." - Gloria Steinem

37 "Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry." - Gloria Steinem

38 Sometimes, I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door, and just visit now and then." - Katharine Hepburn

39 "Do you know why God witheld the sense of humour from women? That we may love you instead of laughing at you." - Mrs Patrick Campbell British actress Said to a man (1940) "The Life of Mrs Pat" M.Peters

40 I sometimes get up grumpy, but then she wakes up.

41 Son :How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father:I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.
Son :Is it true, Dad, that I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries?
Father:That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE.

42 Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

43 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self defence.

44 When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

45 A women's work is never done by men - Graffito

46 Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.

47 Marriage life is full of excitement and frustration: in the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

48 It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

49 There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

50 I couldn't have been happier when my wife became a "libber". Now, she complains about all men and not just me.

51 My wife knows how to make my long stories short - She interrupts

52 One good turn gets most of the blankets.

53 I'll have to admit the first part of my marriage was happy. But then, on the way from the ceremony to the reception .

54 My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her, I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got.

55 I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. - Rita Rudner

56 Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can
be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very excited, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur - Jerry Seinfeld

57 If a man says something in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

58 If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're aiming too high.

59 The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.

60 Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

61 A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

62 I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

63 Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache.

64 A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

65 It's one thing to have to explain to a man why a billion dollar measure has been vetoed, but it is much more difficult to explain to a woman why the cap of the toothpaste has not been put back on. - W. C. Fields

67 Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.

68 Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.

69 "What do most people do on a date?" "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." - Response by Mike, Age 10

70 "I was really worried, I've never seen you come so quickly..." - Angela Randall

71 "I'd love to go out with you, but I want to spend more time with my blender."

72 A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy. - Nietzsche

73 After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Hemant Joshi

74 Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

75 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

76 Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

77 If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

78 "Behind every successful man is a surprised woman." - Maryon Pearson

79 "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." - Katharine Hepburn

80 If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already? - Cynthia Heimel

81 "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

82 Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner.

83 A really great salesman is one who can actually make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her panties and bra in his car.

84 Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

86 Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to
shoot it.

87 Women don't make fools of men; most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

88 A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

89 For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

90 I gave my wife a new watch for her birthday - waterproof, shockproof, unbreakable and anti-magnetic. Absolutely nothing could happen to it. She lost it. - Joey Adams

91 Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar Wilde

92 Sure God created man before woman.. but then you always make a rough draft before The Final Masterpiece.

93 Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

94 What is a highbrow? He is a man who has found something more interesting than women. - Edgar Wallace and others

95 I happen to believe in the sanctity of marriage - no matter how ugly and disgusting it gets. - Major Frank Burns, M*A*S*H

96 Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. - Lyndon B. Johnson

97 "A man who won't lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings." - Olin Miller

98 Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. - Robin Williams

99 According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. - Jay Leno

100 Women say all men are the same, but they have no problem telling you how different you are from Mel Gibson.

Corporate Lessons

CORPORATE LESSON #1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs
downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 just to drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

Bob has a close look at her for a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves.

Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Share critical credit infrmation with your stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!

CORPORATE LESSON # 2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely leg.

The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.

He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"

Once again the priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up psalm 129.

It Said,"Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss great Opportunities!

CORPORATE LESSON # 3

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4
swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and
jump, you shout What you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SH** !!!!!!!........."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Mind your language, you never Know what it will land you in.

CORPORATE LESSON # 4

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine."I just need one copy."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Don't Judge

I’m not a sinner, I just can’t do what’s always right
I’m not Depressed, I’m just sad
I’m not living, I just keep on breathing
I’m not crying, my eyes are full of tears
I’m not a thief, I just take what I need
I’m not stupid, I just don’t get what you say
I’m not trying, I just don’t give up
I’m not weird, I’m just different
I’m not a rebel, I just don’t take orders
I’m not worthless, I just don’t know my value
I’m not a punk, I like to act myself
I’m not a screw up, I just make mistakes
I’m not emotional, I just have lots of feelings
I’m not immature, I just know how to have fun
I’m not a quitter, I just know when to back down
I’m not obsessed, I’m just in love
I’m not ignoring, I choose not to listen
I’m not impatient, I just don’t like to wait
I’m not broken, I’m just bent
I’m not happy, I just know when to smile
I’m not tough, I just don’t take shit
I’m not clingy, I just don’t like to be held
I’m not opinionated, I just voice what I think
I’m not stubborn, I just stand by my beliefs
I’m not a poet, I just express myself in words
I’m not questioning, I just have my doubts
I’m not perfect, I don’t want to be

Friday, April 21, 2006

Whats your Colour?

Took this Tickle test and I think part of it is true.

Aatif, your true color is Red!

Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.


What's Your True Color?
Brought to you by Tickle

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Just a phase

After our seperation, you are still in me, sometimes as tears in my eyes, you re-visit me.

I'm still alive, though without any life, there is only pain in my heart.
I'm just breathing to live, and living like this has become a habit now.

You are with me in the lone of darkness and also there when there is no sunlight around me.
It is difficult to forget one's heartbeat but living like this has become a habit now.

All your memories are like thorns in my heart, which strike me everytime I think about you, please remove them and erase them from me.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

brb

Ok people, I know its been long since I have updated my blog. Actually, I post more on msn spaces nowadays so did not post anything here. My space is http://spaces.msn.com/members/akss/PersonalSpace.aspx?_c01_blogpart=myspace&_c02_owner=1&_c=blogpart

Not sure if you people can access it though, try it and tell me.

By the way, I know that not many people check my blog and this post is just to keep myself happy :)

Till next time......

Sunday, October 30, 2005

All Will Be Fine

We've become so close
In this short amount of time.
It seems that our bond gets tighter
The further we climb.

From the moment our eyes met,
Our souls united as one.
Whoever said that it couldn't be done?
Soulmates for life,
A somewhat sacrifice
Of the freedom to roam.
But a new freedom gained
With someone to love at home.

No more lonely pains
Place your hand in mine.
For as long as we have each other,
All Will Be Fine.